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Friday, April 27, 2012

Rules For Getting A Name Tattooed On Your Own Body

I sure hope he's related to Brenda.
Tattoos seem to have peaked as far as public demand. I know a number of tattoo artists who aren't doing as well as they were just two years ago. But new ink is being applied daily, somewhere in the world. One of the most popular tattoos is one that includes the name of a loved one. After seeing some pretty gaudy tattoos that included names in them, I came up with some Rules For Getting a Name Tattooed On Your Own Body.

The name tattoos that make the most sense are those of your children or of a parent. These are blood relatives and the likelihood that you would disown your kids or cut off relations with your parents are slim.

Mom is a great tattoo. Everyone has a mom and loving your mom is an honorable thing. Tattoo your entire back with mom. No one will ever pick on you for that choice.

If you have two beautiful kids, get their names tattooed on your butt or on your neck. I don't recommend photos because people do change. Memorial photos with pictures of deceased friends or relatives are fine. The person is dead and they won't be changing their hair style any time soon.

The tattoos that are the most dangerous are the boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse tattoos. Statistics show that more then 50% of these relationships don't work out. So, if you get Chuckie tattooed in 4 inch high letters on your neck, you might have a few issues at some point down the road.

I met a woman who had a nice, simple heart tattoo on her forearm with the name Danny on it. Danny was her husband. He's in prison now and she might not be willing to wait the six years it will take for him to get out. If she drops Danny, she's in a pickle. She either has to search on Match.com for guys named Danny or meet a nice guy and say, "Would you mind if I called you Danny?" That is awkward, to say the least.

Before you set yourself up for a future at the tattoo removal center, strongly reconsider getting the tattoo of a person who is not blood related to you emblazoned on your chest or across your neck or back. On your ass is OK. Then you can say you wanted to put their name on your asshole, but you figured it might hurt too much and the placement of this person on your left cheek seemed close enough.

Tattoos are relatively permanent. Under my rules for getting a name tattooed on you own body, don't invest ink in a relationship that isn't permanent. You may be looking for a Danny in your future. And that would be really bad, especially if you are a guy.

2 comments:

  1. You must be on the juice again. This blog is dead. Really, what are you doing with all your free time? Getting fat on dognuts?

    ReplyDelete
  2. OK the point is I could not understand what you really wanted to express. Anyway only some points are ok with me but most of the points seems like you have written because you have to write. Anyway some points make me laugh.

    ReplyDelete

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