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Thursday, April 19, 2012

Bi-Polar Mania - A Close-up Look

Bi-Polar Mania - Happy and Sad.
You may be remotely familiar with the term Bi-polar disorder. It used to be called Manic-Depression - representing the two poles that the mind goes through - episodes of Mania and episodes of Depression. Mania is characterized by racing thought, delusional thoughts and grandiose speech. Here is my personal experience with Bi-Polar Mania - A Close-up Look.

For over a year, I had been on a drug called Lithium for mood stabilization of Bi-Polar Disorder. It is supposed to keep me from getting too revved up and keep my thoughts from racing.

Due to financial reasons, I stopped taking my medication in November of 2011. Over the next three months - December, January 2012, February 2012 - I began to go into a severe case of mania.

My thoughts were racing. I got new ideas every second, and all of them seemed possible. Each idea seemed like a million-dollar idea and I could do anything. But it was all an illusion.

Everything I thought was going to happen, was not going to happen. The ideas kept coming, though. Coming and coming.

Along with my racing thoughts, my mind was doing all it could to keep up with my fertile mind.

I talked to people about ideas I had and everyone believed me, at least I thought they did. Many, however, were starting to spot the mania and several people were telling me that I was going way too fast. I heard them and agreed, but I didn't see it as a problem.

I had some run ins with family and friends and was not nice about how I dealt with them. They cried out for me to slow down, "You need to get back on your medications." Well, I couldn't. I ran out of money and that was why I quit taking the medications. I didn't plan on quitting the medication, I had to.

This scenario sets the backdrop for a night of sheer madness, that I will cover in the next post.

What you'll read is how Bi-Polar Mania can get completely out of control. It's not pretty, when you see Bi-Polar Mania - A Close-up look.

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