|www.OE3.me coming March 23, 2012. Peek, now!|
This is far greater than the Painless Suicide piece, more scintillating then Karina Smirnoff, more crisp than the Black and White photo collections, more funny than anything on Obama... this is sheer brilliance... and it's all wrapped in humility and modesty. Don't be confused. It's me... you know what to expect... THE BEST of everything.
Here's a secret about me. I've been working on a project for 7-years. I got the idea on February 4, 2005, as I watched my angry wife haul her stuff out of the house and never come back again.
We both lost money. But I suffered the worst.
And, apparently, penises don't get treated too well in Family Court and I've been circumcised down to nothing. I've lost all legal and physical custody of my 11 year-old daughter and the Wicked Witch of The West, my X, finally burned up the image of Daddy in my daughter's brain.
On Valentine's Day, I called my daughter to tell her I should be home earlier than the Christmas trip I promised here. In fact, things were going so well, that I might even be able to show up before Thanksgiving. And I continued, "I will probably be able to come in for the summer and we can go on a trip for a week."
And she paused and said in her 11 year-old voice, "Dad, I'm all booked up."
What freakin' 11 year-old is booked up for the summer in February?
Sounds like a Mommy problem. So, I'll have to send her to Hell before we pull out her burnt corpse and do our Lazarus thing on her and bring her back, better than before. We only kill people temporarily in my world, then bring them back - just like the USMC.
This 7 years-in-the-hole project will launch on March 23, 2012. However, you can see previews of it on www.OE3.me until the big day. You can even get involved and make money.
And there are no strings attached - except for my Triple-Your-Money-Back Guarantee... That's right - TRIPLE MONEY BACK. If you can't find $10 of value in one year on my sites, I'll pay you $30 to go away. And, if you're a jerk, I'll pay you $50 to go away. $50 is the going rate for a bus ticket to Loserville (Now available on MySpace by Zynga).
So, who's the greatest???? Mohammed Ali !!!!! I'm a distant 49th.. but I'm still freakin' fun and interesting and hung like a firefly.
ONLINE EMPIRE® is finally here. Time to smell the roses and drink the coffee.