Share posts with your friends !!!

Thursday, October 27, 2011

There Is A God - And I'm Out Of Time

There IS a God. He tweeted me.
Today, I have to write very fast. I've been working on a new project at Denny's for 29.5 hours - and I have to leave to pick up something at my house and go to a meeting. Then I can come home and sleep. But, I have good news: There is a God.

Being on the Internet, there are small milestones you try to achieve - getting as many page views as possible, building your subscriber list, increasing your Facebook friends and getting as many followers as possible on Twitter.

Well, I was within spitting distance of a minor milestone on Twitter - 900 followers. I was at 899. I jokingly put out a tweet pleading for someone to #follow me. PLEASE #followme I'll #followback. Someone actually retweeted the tweet. I checked and I had 897 followers. Two QUIT - right before the finish line.

Then, I got one back. Then, I gave up. "The hell with it." I closed out of the other blog project I was working on and restarted my browser. I logged into Twitter and there it was 900. And I had a tweet sent to me. Here it is. Look closely at it...

There IS a God !!!!
And all these atheists want PROOF!!!! Well, God has a Twitter account, and he looks like a dog. It's that simple.

Well, I tweeted back to God and said, "Amazing that God put me over. An #atheist wouldn't help me. So much for that Humanitarian Code. All crap."

Well, the ruckus that caused was unreal. About five atheists started ripping into me. "That's stupid to think that a god would care about how many followers you have."

I have to apologize to my intelligent atheist friends. You hang with some real dumbasses.

It's the same freakin' people, too. Every time you mention #atheist and crack on them, they go ballistic. And what are you going to do to me? I spent 9 years on the road telling jokes to people who would rather dance after the comedy show at the bar than listen to my Yankee ass. They didn't care how funny I was or thought I was. They want to dance and try to get laid.

It was so bad one night in South Carolina, I walked off the stage and was headed out the back door and a guy said to me, "You fucked up son. You got between a dog and his meat."

So, the atheists can get cranky and I really don't care. To believe or not to believe, that is the question. I'm way too tired for any of this. I have to run. 

Today, I don't care what anyone has to say. There is a God and He was my 900th follower. I wonder if He's on LinkedIN? I need help there.

Best of My Funny Blog Posts 

One-Click Follow on:  

If you enjoyed this article, share it with friends using the buttons below. Bookmark this site. Comments are welcome. 

1 comment:

Tell me exactly what you think...

GET $20 of FREE Stock TODAY!