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Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Weird YouTube Videos - Photoshop Breast Enhancement

Before Mr. Photoshop did his tricks.
Now that I'm posting videos to YouTube, I've been spending some time exploring what other people have uploaded to see what they think is funny, find useful or feel fulfills a need. There are some really weird videos on YouTube, mine included. But one caught my eye and I'm still trying to figure out why this video exists. From the Weird YouTube Videos - Photoshop Breast Enhancement

Before I found the video that is the topic of this post, I found several others on the same subject. One in particular was rather disturbing. 192,000+ people had viewed this video and I'm surprised it hadn't been pulled from YouTube.

The author/producer of the video used a screen casting software to show how he was going to enhance the breasts of a woman in a bikini, so you couldn't see him; you could only hear him. His "subject" was a woman who already had fake breasts. They looked like split coconut shells stuffed under her skin. But this guy felt that they needed to be bigger. So, he converted them into cantaloupes. Then it got weird.

He started calling the woman really nasty names and described sexual acts that would normally put him in jail. As he was berating the woman, he started using Photoshop to make her really fat. He blew up her arms and then worked all around her body until she was a bloated whale - the whole time berating her. This guy obviously has some sort of serious problem with women. I guess being a Photoshop geek hasn't won him any points on the club circuit and he's taking out his anger on photos of women. And I'm supposed to be the one whose crazy.

After clicking around through more videos, I found Mr. Photoshop. He has a series of videos that explain how to do just about anything in Photoshop - whiten teeth, remove makeup, remove backgrounds, change eyes, etc. His videos were very professional and he showed his proficiency by pulling off all of the changes in a quick and flawless manner.

After Mr. Photoshop did his tricks. And the point was?
When I started watching the breast enhancement video, he said that this was the most requested Photoshop technique from his followers and friends. This is where my brain did a back flip. Most requested? What for?

Was this so creepy guys could make fake breasts even fakier? (I know that's not a word, but making fake breasts more fake is fakier - see the Sarah Palin Dictionary for that term.)

Are Photoshop geeks fantasizing about their girlfriends with larger breasts and this is how they can make their dreams come true? "Look honey, I made your tits really big in Photoshop. Isn't that cool? Hey, where ya going?"

Do they think they are performing a public service by taking flat-chested women, putting bulbous boobs on them and posting them on the Internet? "There, I've raised a woman's public appeal by making her breasts the size of watermelons." Maybe she was happy with her lack of breasticles. (See Sarah Palin Dictionary)

Fortunately, I didn't find any Photoshop videos on male enhancement. I doubt if they exist. It's a myth. Boys... you got what you got... and you'll have it until you rot.

Although, they could cut and paste one of those freak-a-zoid penises on a picture.

One time, I searched for large members. I think I was drunk. And I won't tell you the search terms I used, but what I found made me want to poke my eyes out. I was in shock. I saw units that were World Record material - not just for length, but every direction and shape you could imagine.

I saw one that I swear was a rhombus. I forgot what a rhombus is, but that was the first word that came to mind, "That guy has a rhombus." Whatever geometric disfiguration these guys had, I'm sure no woman in the world would want to go near it. And these were not Photoshop tricks. I've made a point to NEVER use any words that even resemble penis in Google. If I need pens - I'll get markers.

But, apparently, there is a big demand for making breasts fakier. In the category of weird YouTube videos - Photoshop Breast Enhancement had to be one of the weirdiest (See Sarah Palin Dictionary).

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