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Thursday, September 8, 2011

Lost My Buzz - Found My Buzz | an ALL MY DONUTS story

Zak and the rest of the rescue team. Butts cropped by request.
My cell phone jarred me from a deep sleep in my La-Z-Boy chair and it was, Joanne, my sister's neighbor from across the street, "Buzz got away. We need your help." It's only Monday and the drama has begun; but in less than an hour, I lost my Buzz and found my Buzz. (Originally published 6/27/11)

After being up all night working on my blogs in my truck at the public library parking lot (stealing WiFi), I stopped for a large breakfast at Maria's Restaurant around 6:15 am. Knowing a Greek omelet, home fries and rye toast would knock me right out, I hurried home and plunked down in my La-Z-Boy chair. Within seconds, I was asleep.

At 1pm I get a frantic call from, Joanne, my sister's neighbor, "Buzz got away. We need your help. We can't find him." Buzz is a tiny Yorkshire Terrier, my sister's third limb - she's always carrying him around.

Unfortunately, my sister and her family had just left early in the morning for a week in Florida, visiting her in-laws. Buzz was staying with another neighbor, Mary, who lives two doors down from Joanne.

Mary is an older woman who has had a number of medical procedures over the past ten years. She's had a hip replacement and occasionally uses a cane. When I heard that Buzz had escaped her fenced yard, I thought, "Poor Mary is going to have a heart attack."

Buzz, ready to attack and leave a tiny mark. Beware!
Joanne had her son, Zak, combing the neighborhood, she also called Animal Control.

Since I was suddenly roused from my "Stave Off The Ugly" Sleep, I needed a few minutes to get myself upright and thinking. After I was ready, I immediately went to my sister's house, two streets away. I went to the driveway gate and opened it. If Buzz returned, he'd have a way in.

But then, I peeked over the gate and there was Buzz, on the deck at the back door, scratching to get in.

You might be thinking, "Thank God, game over." Nope. Buzz is one hyper dude. And he won't let anyone hold him except my sister - at least not without a fight. You see, Buzz thinks he's a really big dog. He attacks German Shepherds and Labs, nipping at their ankles with intense ferocity. He has no clue that he's a snack to these dogs, but Buzz is not phased. He's BUZZ! Beware!

Now, I had to catch the little guy. I tried calling Joanne, but no one answered her phone. For about 10 minutes, I tried to trick Buzz to getting within arm's reach of me. "Here Buzz, let's go inside." And I'd stand at the back door and hope he'd come to me. He did, but as soon as I started to bend over, he bolted. I could see this would take a while.

Fortunately, Joanne and Zak returned and I yelled, "He's over here. I have him."

When they came over, we formed a circle and I was able to snatch him up, but not without taking several snaps from his vicious jaws. They have the strength to dent a marshmallow. You need to be careful.

Buzz wrestled for a minute, then he recognized my scent. I'm one of the few people he hops on the back of the couch and comes over to sniff an ear and then scurry away to safety. I'm his buddy. You have to read the attached story about how I was part of Buzz's former sex life.

We all assembled at Mary's and cloistered Buzz in the house. Then, we checked for any other openings in the green chain link fence to see if our escape artist had any more gateways to freedom. Once the area was secure, my job was done.

Then a debate started, "Should we tell Mary Lou?" I said, "Of course." We had a happy outcome and no harm. I told them, "I'm going to write about it on my blog." And my niece, who's in college, will probably see it on Facebook. "So, you have to tell her."

A few minutes ago, my sister sent a thank you text. "I'm sure I'll read about it on your blog." You're damn right!

Now, I have to get back to work on the things that keep my main site going. That's where my money is.

Monday has kicked off well. I lost my Buzz. But luckily, I found my Buzz. Thirty years ago, I used to say that every day.

Related article:
Poor Little Buzz Won't Be Humping The Hedgehog Anymore

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