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Sunday, August 14, 2011

Why Do They Yell So Much In The British Parliament?

The British House Of Parliament. Whew, what was that?
I'm sure you've been flipping through the channels and run across C-Span and caught the action in the British Parliament. It's quite different than our Congress or Senate. At the center of the room is a podium at a large desk. When the speaker at the podium addresses Parliament, you'll notice that everyone in the House starts popping up and down and chiming in. Have you ever wondered why they yell so much in the British Parliament?

Parliament is set up differently than our governing bodies. They have a group called the House of Lords and another group called the House of Commons. Some are appointed, some are elected. They put the conservatives on the left and the liberals on the right. They drive on the wrong side of the road, too.

It took some research, but I finally figured out why the members of Parliament keep popping up and down and barking agreement or shouting disagreements at the speaker.

Have you ever eaten English food? Everything is boiled or overcooked. The climate in the U.K. makes root vegetables and cabbage plentiful. What do you think happens if you stuff yourself full of overcooked meat, boiled potatoes, beets and cabbage? You get a lot of gas. Yes, the members of Parliament are just covering up massive amounts of flatulence. Some of them fart so hard, it pops them out of their seat. They yell to cover up the sound.

Sometimes they don't yell fast enough, that is why you hear a lot of grunting sounds from the members of Parliament. Those are the butt bombs they couldn't cover up. 

This is a lot different than the U.S. Congress or Senate. Our politicians eat the American diet, which means they're all full of crap. Constipation rules our legislative process. Nothing is moving. That's why you see our representatives giving impassioned speeches to a largely empty House of Representatives or Senate. They're all back in their plush offices in their plush bathrooms earnestly trying to pinch one off, so they can go to lunch and start the process over again.

You never see the president at the House of Representatives or at the Senate. He's back at the White House chomping on EX-LAX, because he's really full of crap.

So, the next time you're channel surfing and you come across C-Span and you catch the Brits in action, popping up and down, you'll know why they yell so much in the British Parliament - farts. While back in the states, our reps are just trying to get shit to move.

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1 comment:

  1. I don't have a sob story to tell. But as I sit here alone on Christmas Day, the day after my sister and I get into a fight and my step-father tells me to get the fuck out of his house, I can't help but ask myself "what am I doing here". I have a great job that I love, made decent money and I am a very loving person. But I also feel that I am incapable of being happy. I have PMDD which is just like PMS but worse. I'm a very emotional person and very sensitive. Some times I react to others without thinking. Storming off or saying things I don't mean.doesn't seem so bad compared to other problems out there. All I want is for someone or even my family to love me. I've lost many friends (by choice) and feel like everyday I throw myself a pity party. I rely too much on others to make me happy. They always seem to fail. What is wrong with me? I'm 30 years old and have yet to find a relationship that works. Bottom line, I'm sick of being alone, crying everyday like I have it so bad when I don't. Not everyones life story is the same. I have a great life on paper. But I'm slowly dying inside.

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