|Obama prepares to campaign in 2012.|
MORE CHANGE IN YOUR POCKET
CHANGE YOU CAN SPEND
AT VENDING MACHINES
YES, WE MIGHT
GEORGE BUSH CAUSED ALL THIS
HOPE IS A FOUR-LETTER WORD
BLACK UNEMPLOYMENT IS 17.1%.
DON'T MAKE IT 17.1000001%
OSAMA IS STILL DEAD
THERE ARE 4 TRILLION REASONS
TO VOTE FOR ME
DEBT IS A STATE OF MIND
REPUBLICANS ARE BAD PEOPLE
I PLAN TO PUNISH THE PEOPLE
WHO CREATE JOBS
FOREIGN MARKETS AREN'T
LAUGHING AT US
THEY'RE LAUGHING WITH US
WE'RE NOT GREECE OR SPAIN
IT'S ONLY HALFTIME,
FOUR MORE YEARS
MY FOREIGN POLICY IS
CLEAR AS MUD
REPUBLICANS ARE REALLY BAD
JOE BIDEN MAKES ME LOOK GOOD
I CAN'T LEAD WHEN I'M GOLFING
GEORGE BUSH DID ALL OF THIS
OBAMACARE MAY BE
BUT WE NEED IT
FOXNEWS MADE ME LOOK BAD
OSAMA IS REALLY DEAD,
Other talking points the Democratic National Committee would like to see Obama use during the campaign would be:
- Michele Bachmann is nuts
- Mitt Romney's hair spray contributes to climate change - formerly global warming.
- Rick Perry is a taller version of George W. Bush
- I have focused my time observing Congress. I believe they need leadership. A committee will be formed to see if we can get leadership to Congress.
- Republicans are mutants that only care about the wealthy.
- We can create jobs by spending a couple trillion more dollars.
- I want to raise taxes on the job producers.
- Wall Street needs to be nervous. We might come down on them.
- I won't campaign in black neighborhoods because they follow me no matter what.
- I'll spend more time in Latino neighborhoods, even though tacos give me gas.
- Joe Biden will wear a muzzle throughout the campaign.
- I plan to have a new cabinet and new advisers every month. Change is good.
- Most of the poor are just whiners. They need expensive light bulbs and forced health care.
- Congress needs to stop acting like children. Now, return Harry Reid's blanket to him.
- Nancy Pelosi has never made any sense, so we plan on making her ambassador to Antarctica.
- You can't look to the government for jobs. You need to find your own jobs.
- You need to turn your TV off at night and read to your kids. It will save energy.
- Everyone need to stop complaining about gas prices and buy a moped.
- But stock in China.
- All you slackers on Social Security need to participate in the shared sacrifice.
- My golf handicap has dropped by three strokes. That is not easy. I need four more years.
Obama got off to a bad start. He had a super majority to start his presidency and blew the power of that position. He spent all his time on this health care bill, which forces people to buy something - that is unconstitutional. The Supreme Court will decide in the spring.
In the meantime, the DNC will be working on Barack Obama campaign slogans for the 2012 election. I hope he comes up with something snappy that can make us forget how little he's done.
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