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Thursday, July 7, 2011

Women - STOP EVERYTHING - You Have To Read This

There's a Maniacal Mom lurking on the Internet.
As a former stand-up comic, it takes a lot to make me laugh - a lot. If you get a smile out of me, you're doing pretty good. I've heard just about every funny thing that there is, but occasionally I get surprised. Today, I laughed OUT LOUD at my office - Dunkin' Donuts. What was making me laugh so hard? A Canadian Mom with an insanely honest and funny blog. Something special has to happen for me to yell, "STOP THE PRESSES!" But... Women - STOP EVERYTHING - You have to read this.

From the time I started blogging, I noticed that the blogospehere is like one big toilet, clogged with moronic diaries and pictures of puppies and race cars. As far as funny goes, you have to hit the big sites like or to get anything that can force a chuckle. And then there are the people that think they're funny. Yes, these are the same people that fry bacon when they're naked, check the barrel of their shotgun by looking into the end with the sight on it and light fireworks stuffed in their own back pocket. They're funnier to watch than to read.

Since I don't have Internet access at the storage facility where I live, I have to whore around all hours of the day and night looking for FREE WiFi. When my computer was down, I spent a night driving around town in the middle of the night, looking for people with smartphones so I could do a tweet about my blog. "Hey man, can you let me do just one tweet? Please?" On my excursion, I ran across a Denny's Restaurant that is open 24 hours and they have FREE WiFi.

This morning I was at the tail end of an 11 hour writing, researching, promoting session at Denny's when I saw a tweet on Twitter that cracked me up and required a reply. A brief dialogue ensued and then my computer when black from the processor overheating. I had to leave the fine cuisine at Denny's, pick up my meds and head to Dunkin' Donuts for the balance of the day. Oh... sleep... yeah... I hear some people do that.

When I got to the Double-D, I had a tweet from my new cyber acquaintance... "You should read my blog..." I did. I laughed. I laughed a lot. In fact, I did something really rare. Very rare. Bloody in my book. I put a link to the Canadian woman's blog on this site.

You see, I look at my blog as a store that has everything. I'm better than Wal-Mart because I have all the pizza, cookies, burgers, beer, snow tires, magazines and cigarettes you need to survive and it's all FREE. And once someone comes to my store, I don't want them to leave. I don't make a habit of providing EXIT doors to this blog. I guess I learned that from living in Vegas for so long. HIDE THE EXITS. Even if there's a fire, they'll keep gambling.

What makes this blog I was introduced to so great is that it is a fresh, honest, no bones (and you might even be shocked or offended) voice of a single mom. And the blog does have a title: Maniacal Mom's Moments. <<< Don't pay any attention to that link. You need to put another $20 in the slot machine. But, if you're out of cash or had your fill of my carnival, then I suggest you click on it and have yourself a belly laugh from a whole different perspective than mine. A woman's perspective.

Since my feminine side went through menopause, I'm not as biting as I was during my first marriage. I can't bitch like I used to. I'd rather punch you in the face and get it over with. But Maniacal Mom does it and does it well. (F%$& another link. Pay no attention to that.)

As a former comic, people ask me all the time, "What comedians do you like?" And I reply, "What difference does it make? Comedy is subjective. We all laugh at different things." Well, I laughed at Maniacal Mom. If you want to know what I think is funny, read her stuff. It's not for anyone that gets their panties in a bunch over burnt cupcakes or not getting the right ribbon to go on that awful gift you just bought your best friend. She's real. She's honest. And as they say in my neighborhood, "The bitch be funny."

So, if you get tired of my gonads, you can saunter over to Maniacal Mom's Moments and get a little high powered estrogen. Women - STOP EVERYTHING - You have to read this >>> Maniacal Mom's Moments.

And if you forget to bookmark her site, you can find a snippet of her latest post - WITH A LINK - right above the TwitPics montage. (Scroll, baby, scroll.) F&#$ my cookies are burning.

Related LINK:
Maniacal Mom's Moments

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