Share posts with your friends !!!

Thursday, June 30, 2011

The Key To Success: Use Downtime To Generate New Ideas And Improve

Generating new ideas is the key to success.
Your project might have ended at work or there is a delay. You may be at a point where you're in between assignments or jobs. Things have slowed or come to a halt in your life. Then you need to focus on one important principle that has driven my life. The key to success: use downtime to generate new ideas and improve. 

One of the books that changed my life was Napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich. I read the book every January for a decade and marked notes and goals in the margin. Come the next January, I was able to review what my thoughts were a year earlier. Surprisingly, most of the goals I had written in the margins of the book had been attained or exceeded. At the time, I was a stand-up comic working my way up the ladder. I went from an open mic night to becoming a regular in Las Vegas - the Entertainment Capital of The World. Not bad for a guy with no confidence.

Even though my walk with the Hill classic was in January, I held his principles with me throughout the year. At the core of Hill's philosophy is the generation of ideas. You need to be an idea generation machine. New ideas improve your work conditions, your family, you life.

Ideas are at the core of everything that is. We rely on them for innovation, changes in our work environment, changes in society, new medicines, new technologies, etc. 

Recently, I suffered a near death experience, in terms of being a blogger. My computer died, and I could not replace it. For two weeks, I had no computer. I went from working 12 to 20 hours a day, writing, researching and marketing this blog to 2 hours a day at the library. After replying to messages on social nets and email, I had no time to write to the standards I've set for myself.

But I didn't waste the time. I'd take a few minutes every day to check out something new while I was on the library computer. I found new gadgets, a couple new marketing sources, etc.

I also stuck with my number one rule in life: Always carry a pen with you. Paper you can find anywhere, but damn if you can't find a pen when you need it. And a screwdriver just doesn't work.

Every day, I went somewhere and talked to people at bars and restaurants. I asked a lot of questions. Then, I'd grab a stack of napkins and sit in a corner and write. I generated story ideas for the next year, If I work round the clock I'll get them all written within a year.

It's been three weeks since my computer died. I got it back, just over a week ago (too much dust built up on the processor and it was overheating - an air compressor took care of the problem). I'm still trying to get back into my rhythm and reach the level of work flow I was doing before the blackout. But I came away from the downtime with a plethora of new ideas, new tools, new perspective. I'm better for having the time off, not injured. Sure, my page views per week went from 9,300 to a low of 1,950 - but today I'm back up near 3,700 and headed in the right direction.

If you've never read Think And Grow Rich, I've attached a terrific video that is a simple scroll of quotes from Napoleon Hill's work. It takes five minutes. There is no narration, so you can sit at work and just read the quotes.

You might want to email this post to yourself and look at it from time to time, just as a reminder of what it takes to be truly successful. Share it with friends that are adrift, lost or even those moving up - it will help all of them.

Success seems so illusive to some and so simple to others. It takes hard work, but before you can do anything, you need an idea. The key to success: use downtime to generate new ideas and improve.

If you enjoyed this article, share it with friends using the buttons below. Bookmark this site. Comments are welcome.

America's Got Talent 2011 Season 6 - June 29, 2011 - Houston

Judges Piers Morgan, Sharon Osborne, Howie Mandel. 
The America's Got Talent Season 6 episode on June 29, 2011 in Houston had its usual flops and flyers. However a couple acts could be serious contenders and a few that looked impressive will die along the way.

With each episode about six to ten acts get sent on to the next round of America's Got Talent in Las Vegas. This is the fun part of the show because you get to see all of the really hideous, clueless, untalented acts. Once we get to Vegas, we'll see if decent acts can take their show up a notch.

Over the past couple weeks there has been a cavalcade of losers and a few really good winners. When you throw out the acts that have absolutely no talent and focus on the ones that have been sent on to Las Vegas, you have to keep asking the question, "Is this a $1 Million act that can headline in Las Vegas (an hour show)?" When you post that question, you can start to see who will make it out of Vegas and on to Hollywood, the next round.

Sure the lady with the talking parrot a few weeks ago was cute, but could you sit through an hour of that? The only thing that could fill an hour would be for her to cook the parrot and eat it.

Singers, magicians, really diverse dance troupes and the acts that are truly amazing and different have the best shot at getting to the finals. Last year's Fighting Gravity made it to the finals with a unique visually stimulating show that kept growing and evolving. That's what it takes.

If you really want to know who has the best shot at winning America's Got Talent, you have to drop the "Talent" part of the title of the show and replace it with "Stories" - yes, America's Got Stories. 

We all love great stories and through the course of the season we learn more and more about the stories behind the rising talents. Those stories are what grab people emotionally and cause them to vote. As dynamic an act as Fighting Gravity was, Michael Grimm had the best story. He was a poor boy from Mississippi, raised by elderly grandparents who had lost everything when hurricane Katrina devastated the Gulf coast. If anyone needed a buck and a break, it was Michael Grimm - and he won. 

Look for the most emotional stories that build throughout the season and you'll have a good idea as to who will win. 

So far, we have about a half a dozen singers who have been shy or closeted performers. They have stories. They'll go far because we've already seen they have amazing talent. A really good act will go to the finals, but a really good act with a story will probably win. 

For now, during the pre-Las Vegas round, enjoy the carnival sideshows and complete boobs that have no business on a stage, unless they're cleaning it. It's fun. 

The next round is all about taking your show up a notch. Remember, we're looking for an act that can headline in Las Vegas - which means an hour show. Acts that are charming and entertaining for 90 seconds, have to be asked, "Can you expect us to watch you for an hour?" Answer that and you'll get an idea who will win. And keep listening for the stories. Viewers vote based on emotions. And the deeper they are touched, the better chance an act has. 

After the next round of shows, I'll give you a couple acts to watch. They have what it takes to make it to the finals. 

America's Got Talent 2011 Season 6 - June 29, 2011 - Houston had some great acts, but only one or two fit the above criteria. Can you tell me who you think they are? Make comments below. 

Related links:
AGT YouTube voting concluded July 9th.
AGT Website
AGT on Twitter
Piers Morgan on Twitter
Howie Mandel on Twitter
Sharon Osbourne on Twitter

Related articles:
America's Got Talent Season 6 - Hollywood #1 -Tuesday, July 12, 2011
America's Got Talent Season 6 - Las Vegas - Wednesday, July 6, 2011
America's Got Talent Season 6 - Las Vegas -Tuesday, July 5, 2011
America's Got Talent Season 6 2011 - AGT Vegas Week Tuesday and Wednesday - July 5 and 6
America's Got Talent 2011 Season 6 - June 29, 2011 - Houston
America's Got Talent Launches Season 6 | AGT Season Guide
Who Will Win America's Got Talent Seaon 5 2010?
Michael Grimm Wins America's Got Talent 2010 Season 5

Best of My Funny Blog Posts

Follow on: Twitter - Facebook - LIKE - Facebook Fan Page

If you enjoyed this article, share it with friends using the buttons below. Bookmark this site. Comments are welcome.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

NBC The Voice 2011 Crowned Javier Colon The Voice - #TheVoice

Meet "The Voice" Javier Colon - NBC The Voice Champ.
After nearly three months of some of the best singing I've ever seen in a talent competition (Good-bye American Idol), it was decision time. America had voted and NBC The Voice 2011 Crowned Javier Colon "The Voice" (#TheVoice on Twitter).

Immediately following last night's show where each of the contestants performed duets with their coaches and original songs - the final competitive singing - Javier Colon went to #2 on iTunes for his duet with Adam Levine, his coach, of the Michael Jackson hit Man in The Mirror. However, Wednesday, Dia Fampton's original song Inventing Shadows went to #1 on iTunes. If I had a bookie handy, I would have put my money on Dia winning.

When it came time for the results, Carson Daly said that the top two vote-getters were only separated by 2% - and Javier Colon wound up on top. It couldn't have happened to a more deserving guy. He's struggled for a long time to get into the music business and even had a record deal the fell through. It makes you feel so good when a guy with a white hat on wins.

There are no real losers over the last couple weeks. The eight finalists are already booked for a multi-city tour sponsored by Sprint. Everybody is going to get PAID! - Finally!

All eight will most likely have recording careers in the near future - they are all that good.

The Voice - the breakout hit of the spring season - has been very good to NBC. Combined with America's Got Talent, NBC was #1 in all of the major demographic categories for two straight weeks. They haven't done that since September of 2010.

In a recent interview by Carson Daly of Mark Burnett, the show's creator, Burnett said, "You have to create a great story. The human element is what draws people in." And The Voice was magnificent at doing just that - bring us great stories. By the final show, we felt we knew all of the performers, intimately - and that is all from the way the show was put together and produced.

Ratings were so explosive for The Voice, early in the season a decision was made to have a 2nd season. Casting is going on right now.

To see past performances, check out bios, and put your talents into the casting call, check out the complete NBC Home of The Voice.

Right now there is one really happy and grateful guy. NBC The Voice 2011 crowned Javier Colon "The Voice" - (#TheVoice on Twitter)

As a side note: On Google immediately following the show, Stevie Nicks was the #1 trending search. Probably a lot of young people wondering, "Who the hell is she?" LOL

Related article:
Move Over American Idol, NBC'S The Voice Is MUST SEE TV

Best of My Funny Blog Posts

If you enjoyed this article, share it with friends using the buttons below. Bookmark this site. Comments are welcome. 

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Oprah Buys Heaven. Demotes God.

"Everyone is getting an all expenses paid trip to Heaven!!!"
You've probably heard the cliche, "He/she has more money than God." Well, with the launch of her network, OWN, Oprah Winfrey finally has more money than God. Today, Oprah bought Heaven and demoted God.

Oprah's OWN network has allowed her to leverage up her market value and she blew right by the Almighty in terms of assets and overall net worth. After Oprah purchased Heaven, she demoted God, but did it in a really nice way that made a lot of women cry and order her books on

God said, "You know, I don't mind being demoted. The only thing that bothers me is that Oprah won't put The Bible on her book club. Otherwise, I've really gotten tired of running the universe. People are just plain nuts. I guess I'm the one to blame."

How so, we asked?

"Well, I blew it with Moses. I gave him TEN Commandments. I could have given him thirty, no one is following them. I should have stuck with my gut feeling and kept it to ONE commandment."

And what would that be?



"That's right, STOP IT. Stop the greed, stop the killing, stop the abusing women, stop abusing children, stop the wars, stop cruelty to animals, stop the Vegans, stop the Tea Party, just STOP IT! It's all my fault. I thought Mo could handle Ten Commandments. He tried, but it never caught on the way I had hoped it would."

What are you talking about? Christianity and Judaism are still huge.

"But no one follows those commandments. They BS everyone they meet, but I know what goes on behind closed doors. And we all know every human being on this planet is two clicks away from porn on the Internet. I Am God, ya know."

Oprah sent God on a much needed vacation to Hawaii. Now that Oprah OWNs Heaven, there is talk of a God channel, so the Creator won't be out of work too long.

Someone finally did it. Oprah buys Heaven and demotes God. STOP IT! You're killing me.

Best of My Funny Blog Posts

If you enjoyed this article, share it with friends using the buttons below. Bookmark this site. Comments are welcome. 

Male Genitalia Has Been Devalued. Obama Pledges Bailout.

Junk for sale. It's worth nothing these days.
When I was growing up, the spot between my legs was called "The Family Jewels" - now, kids refer to it as junk. Even a well polished pencil can't hold its value these days. Yes, male genitalia has been devalued, but President Obama pledges a bailout.

Wall Street has been limp lately and it is not due to the dropping dollar, America's male genitalia has been devalued and that's why trading on Wall Street has the charts pointing down.

President Obama said, "We cannot allow our jewels to remain at a junk rating. If the junk rating withstands over a long period of time, people will have no use for their junk and sell it. That could bring an end to the human race as we know it. It is our obligation as Americans to let our junk rise to the level it once was."

Fox News is all ready calling this a frivolous "Ballout" and MSNBC feels the junk status could bring Anthony Weiner back into the picture for a re-election bid.

"You can't even buy a hooker on craigslist anymore," said one angry junk dealer.

"Demand for junk has gone flat. I don't know what we're going to do," stated Hugh Hefner. "If junk can't rise, I'm out of business."

We don't have all the details on how the bailout would work, but it could put a huge bulge in the budget. For now our male genitalia has been devalued, but Obama pledges a bailout, unless there are stiff penalties for early withdrawal.

Best of My Funny Blog Posts

If you enjoyed this article, share it with friends using the buttons below. Bookmark this site. Comments are welcome. 

I Need Your Help Rounding Up All The Mental Illness Pages On Facebook

Time to Round Up the Mental Illness Pages on Facebook.
As a blogger, I'm always looking for new ways to promote my site and find new audiences. I had been working at a Denny's Restaurant for about six hours - starting at 9pm - when I decided to find some mental illness Pages on Facebook and post one of my articles about the stigma of mental illness to them. Five hours later, I had to give up. There are hundreds and hundreds of mental illness Pages on Facebook and 80% of them have 10 LIKE's or less. I need your help rounding up all the mental illness Pages on Facebook.

First off, I have ADD, Bipolar Disorder and Anxiety Disorder. In the mental health vernacular, I am a consumer. That means that I use mental health services - groups; providers - psychiatrists, psychologists; and treatment programs - medication, talk therapy.

I had no idea what I was getting into when I decided to share my post link on these Pages. I have to mention that I've been in a manic mode for days, part of my bipolar label. I work for 24 to 40 hours, sleep for 12 and start over again. So, I was going to do my usual on Facebook, which means I do too much and Facebook sends me warnings for overloading the system and altering the rotation of the earth. When I get going, I'm like a NASCAR racer - but without the car. Just as fast, but no car.

My journey started by typing in the white Facebook search box at the top of the page: "mental illness" - a bunch of my articles popped up first, then Pages I could LIKE and share my post. Immediately, I saw that I would have to exercise some discretion as to what Page I would LIKE and then share my link. There were dozens with 1 person that had clicked LIKE - and it was probably the person that setup the Page. Initially, I set my bar at Pages that had at least 100 LIKE's. After an hour or two of that, I had to raise the bar to Pages that had at least 1,000 or more LIKE's. You have no idea how many pages of non-qualifiers I had to scroll through to get to the larger LIKE'd Pages.

80% of FB Mental Illness Pages look like this. They're alone.
Seeing all those pages with 1, 2, 6 LIKE's almost sent me into the depressive side of my bipolar tag. I know that all of those people have a mental illness. They want to be heard. They want to be treated like normal people. They want better answers than the mental health industry has been providing them. And they were all alone. They reminded me of stray cattle, standing out in a field wondering where all the rest of their buddies went.

So, I thought to myself, "There has to be a way to round up all of these people and put them on ONE Page and get them all communicating with other people who share the same maladies and trials. But it's too big of a task for me. I have to WRITE at some point, I can't be sitting around for 14 hours a day trying to get the lost cows aligned with a proper and empathetic herd.

I'm sure there are people that created their Page in a moment of desperation and were looking for someone to hear them. As the minutes, hours, days and weeks passed, there were only two or three people that "heard" their call. I'm sure a lot of them went into symptoms just because they felt they were being ignored. Schizophrenics are good at building false cases against themselves and they're a mess for days or weeks - and it's all in their head. I don't want to see these people spread out on all of these little islands all over FB land.

It was bound to happen. With 600 million users worldwide, a few thousand people had to think an original thought, "I'll start a Facebook Page and help others like me." Well, you're spread a little too thin there boys. Round 'em up.

So, what I need you to do is share the link to this post on Mental Illness Pages on Facebook with less than 1,000 LIKE's. It's simple. Do what I did, type in the search box "mental illness" and see the list that drops down. Go down the list a ways and click on the name of the Page before you click LIKE. If you don't see this post on the Page, click LIKE and then post the link.

If you've never posted a blog link somewhere, it is real simple. You can click on the title of any blog post and the specific URL for that page will be in your box at the top of your browser. Highlight the whole URL - usually, if you double click on it, it will highlight - then copy the link. It will remain on your clipboard. You can go from Page to Page and post the link. Set a goal to do at least 10. You'll get sick of filling out the Captcha box or whatever that thing is called soon enough, so don't go nuts. Remember - your mental health is your first priority.

I put about two dozen Pages with larger audiences in my favorites on my blog site FB Page: I'll post to those pages. But you have got to help me.

Although, if we had about two dozen people with OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) that would get into this, we could have that link posted to the 30,000 or whatever number it is of Mental Illness Pages in a matter of days. OCD is not a disorder - in my world, it's a SKILL.

I know that some people, even if they only have themselves as the only LIKE for their Page will want to keep it. I understand. You spent all that time finding the perfect photo to express your mind's interpretation of Mental Illness, you clicked and checked all the Settings about 40 times and you looked at your Page every day, waiting for someone to click LIKE. You're attached. Keep the Page. But join the Round Up Page.

Yes, the only way I could see this through was to create another MI Page. It's called: Round Up Mental Illness Pages. According to FB TOS, you cannot use the Facebook name or any variation of it in the title of your Page. So, it's a Round Up. That's it. Let's get all the lonely people on Facebook with mental illnesses communicating with each other.

I'm used to this. I've had to do it with some of the groups I attend for therapy. The ADD groups are the worst. A quarter of the people forgot to write down the meeting time, another quarter showed up on the wrong day, another quarter couldn't find the building and the last fourth got distracted by butterflies or some other insect and missed the meeting. That's why there is so little clinical data on people with ADD/ADHD. They don't show up. They wanted to. But... Oh... a fly... "Wonder where he's going? Maybe he knows where my keys are."

The worst part of mental illness is that you feel alone. And look what we have on FB... a zillion people - all alone. Round Up Time.

I've preached enough. But I'm very serious about this. I understand the pain. I understand the frustration. I understand the stigma. I understand how people see you on a good day and think you're "cured" and wonder what happened when they see you on a bad day, "You were doing so good last week." Well, Sparky, this stuff doesn't melt like a candle. It's made of granite and it's going to be with me (us) for the rest of our lives. Have some freakin' empathy and let me try to work on my mental health without you sabotaging my progress by making me feel guilty that I'm sick!

Start sharing this post. Tweet it. LinkedIN is cool, too. There's a hundred places you could put it. Use the ShareThis button below to share to all of your favorite groups. I can't do it alone. I need your help rounding up all the Mental Illness Pages on Facebook.

Moo  ;)>

Link to FB Page:
Round Up Mental Illness Pages  (on Facebook)

Related articles:

The Stigma Of Mental Illness
Mental Illness | Dealing With Symptoms of Panic Attacks And Anxiety Disorder
Mental Illness | Mentally Ill Live Lives Of Quiet Shame, Anger Or Pain
Mental Illness | Catherine Zeta-Jones Treated For Bipolar II Disorder
Five Steps To Recovery From Mental Illness
Recovery From Mental Illness Should Include Groups
Stop Funding Planned Parenthood, Abortions And Birth Control

Best of My Funny Blog Posts

If you enjoyed this article, share it with friends using the buttons below. Bookmark this site. Comments are welcome. 

Friday, June 24, 2011

Use #Twitter To Promote The Good #iLike(city) and Dis The Bad #iHate(City)

Use #TweetWalk to let people know what you like.
One of the worst things you can do in life is get too lodged into your comfort zone. You don't see new things, you won't get new perspectives, you'll come up with fewer ideas and you'll get fat as hell. When I lost my computer for two weeks, I was in total panic mode. But I had to do something. I could no longer stay buried in a coffee shop, library or restaurant. I had to go out and mix with the rest of the world. On my first excursion, I came up with an idea and it is brilliant, and you need to start using it too. You can use #Twitter to promote the good with #iLike(city) and Dis the bad with #iHate(city).

This idea was created during one of my manic modes. I didn't have a computer. I was using the library computer, but for only 2 hours a day. I could see my blog traffic slowly sliding away. Then, I decided, "I HAVE TO TWEET" - any way I can.

I was walking into stores and asking them if I could send out a tweet on their computer. Yes, I got a lot of puzzled looks, especially from the people that had no idea what Twitter is.

My mania pushed me even farther, I started hanging out in bars and looking for people with smartphones. "Excuse me, could I borrow your phone to make a tweet?" There were laughs and there were confused looks and one really drunk guy said, "Why don't you tweet your sorry ass out of here." I did. Tweet. Tweet.

What worked best was when I could talk to the business owner or the barmaids or waitresses. I'd tell them, "I need to make two tweets," and they'd laugh, "one is to promote my blog because my computer is broken and the other I'll do about your business. Ya' know, give you a plug. And I'll send it to someone I follow who had 3 or 4 million followers." Smartphones whipped out faster than Anthony Weiner photos.

As I was doing my tweet, I'd tell them, "Get me a business card or write down your address and phone number on a piece of paper. They quickly did. Then, I'd do the second tweet. But I know how twitter works and I had to come up with a hashtag (#) that would tie this all together. After a few different ideas, I originally came up with #TweetWalk, but as of July 4th I've changed it to #iLike. It's shorter and it is a hashtag category where there is little going on. Then, came the brilliant part...

I thought about how Facebook has the LIKE button and you can LIKE most anything on any social networking site. Twitter really doesn't have a LIKE button. Sure, you can tweet, "I love the pizza at Joey's." But no one knows where the hell you are and you could be tweeting from a bomb crater in Palestine.

So I took #iLike one step further. Let's say you're at Leo's Irish Pub, and you're having a great time. Leo's place is in Peoria, IL. You would compose a tweet like this:

#iLikePeoria @ Leo's Irish Pub 1234 Dublin Dr. near the Target on Center St. Great food. Hot chicks.
My example tweet has 40 characters/spaces left over. You can add a phone number, more comments, hours, or another hashtag. Then, people in Peoria can check out #iLikePeoria and see what's buzzing.

You can also tell people in Peoria - or whatever city you are in - what you don't like. I did a tweet like that this morning.

I was at a Denny's restaurant writing and the table and booth bench were like they were covered in glue. I had to go get napkins myself, soak them with water in the server's station and go back and scour the table and bench. It was disgusting. And the service was lousy. That is where you use the evil twin of #iLike(City) - #iHate(city) So, I tweeted something like this...

#iHateCleveland Denny's at RT 91 and Euclid Ave is a filthy dump and the service is awful. I had to scour my table. It was gross.
We are in a tough economy. Everyone should be putting on their "A" game to get business. It drives me nuts when I get bad service, filth, bad attitudes, etc. I'll take my dead presidents elsewhere. This whole #iLike(city) concept rewards the good guys and #iHate(city) beats up the bad guys. Recessions thin the herd. The strong survive. That's the American way.

I call this Flash Marketing. It's the wired version of Guerrilla Marketing.

#iLike(city) produced a side benefit. When I told the business people that I was sending out a tweet to millions of people on the Internet, I got a lot of free and discounted stuff on my journey. One night, I never spent a dime and had a blast. 

America loves shows where we get to vote. We get to pick the winners and let the losers slip away. #iLike(city) is the way to capture your vote via smartphone or laptop or tablet and provide a service to other consumers in your community.

I'm looking forward to the day when I can look up #iLikeNYC #iLikeMiami #iLikeLasVegas #iLikeDenver and see what is hot. Check #iHate(city) to see what is not.

This is a great idea. It empowers YOU to feed the strong and kill off the weak.

So, get your ass out there with your smartphone and do a little #iLike(City) or #iHate(city) and we'll all be better off.

This is the right way to use #Twitter to promote the good with #iLike(city) and Dis the bad with #iHate(city).

And to get this rolling, you need to share this on Facebook, Tweet on Twitter, StumbleUpon, LinkedIN it, Google Buzz it, etc. Pass the word. Be part of creating something new and highly useful. Thank you.

Best of My Funny Blog Posts

Follow on: Twitter - Facebook - LIKE > Facebook Fan Page 

If you enjoyed this article, share it with friends using the buttons below. Bookmark this site. Comments are welcome. 

Exclusive Internet Soap Opera - All My Donuts - Debuts Next Week

All My Donuts debuts next week.
This is a project that has been in the incubation stage for some time and it is finally coming to life. And it is something I've never seen done before on the web. I will be producing an exclusive Internet Soap Opera called, All My Donuts, and it will debut next week

This all started around the beginning of March 2011. I decided to ramp up my efforts on this blog and the primary place I wrote was at Dunkin Donuts in Euclid, OH (A suburb of Cleveland). DD is located on the corner of E. 222nd St. and Lake Shore Blvd. It's considered "Downtown Euclid" - if that's what you want to call it.

When I lived in Las Vegas, I'd go to Starbucks, restaurants, bars, casinos, etc. and I never seemed to see the same people twice at any of those places. I ran into a lot of people in Vegas because I knew a lot of people, but I never had an environment where a large group of people came and went with extreme regularity through the course of a week. DD provides a hub that branches out to other stores and coffee shops, restaurants and shops. There are people with bizarre stories everywhere.

I love stories. I love listening to people tell me their story.

At DD, there were these regulars that came in while I was madly typing away on my little white iBook. I never knew their names, but I gave them nicknames, based on what they did or said when they were buying coffee or donuts. Over time, there was quite an odd assortment of characters that I'd see on a regular basis and they'd talk to me. Eventually, I learned their names. Then, I learned more about their lives.

On Lake Shore Blvd. there is a stretch that is about 200 yards long and that is where all the action is in Euclid. I've met some really crazy people, some really nice people and some... Honestly, I haven't met a single person that I'd want to avoid or disdain. They're all quirky, unique and likable in their own way.

Over the past two weeks, while my computer was down, I started taking a lot of photos. I was generating the "casting" shots for All My Donuts.

In the beginning, I plan to introduce you to the cast and the places that make up the 200 yards of Euclid Buzz. Then, I'll tell you the stories as they crop up. No schedule. Just sit and wait for something weird to happen. It always does.

Since this is more of a personal project, I'm going to produce the Internet Soap Opera on one of my other sites, The Life And Times of Roger Blazic. My donuts seem to fit better over there. I will, however, have links on this site, so you'll still be able to get there from here. And back again. In fact, delete all of your other bookmarks and just keep my two sites. You'll be entertained, informed, moved and much smarter and cooler than anyone in your neighborhood or at work. While your friends at work are playing Angry Bird, you'll be laughing your ass off or getting smarter by reading one or both of my sites. (I have a third site, Las Vegas Tips, that is being revived, too.).

So, get ready for a boatload of high calorie, overly caffeinated racially and ethnically diverse fun.

That's right... Roger is gonna do it... An exclusive Internet Soap Opera - All My Donuts - and it debuts next week.

Best of My Funny Blog Posts

Follow on: TwitterFacebookFacebook Fan Page 

If you enjoyed this article, share it with friends using the buttons below. Bookmark this site. Comments are welcome. 

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Does Micro Center Sell And Repair Apple Computers? Yes And Yes

Micro Center also sells and repairs Apples.
Since my poor little six-year-old Apple iBookG4 went dark on June 8th at 8:30 in the morning. I went from being a prolific blogger to a raging maniac. I was scrambling around to every place I could squeeze in an hour or two hours on a computer and keep up with my burgeoning Internet world. Along the way, everyone I talked to had grim news about my computer. Then, my sister forced me to go to Micro Center. I wanted to know: Does Micro Center sell and repair Apple Computers? I was so glad to find out the answer was, "Yes and Yes!"

When my portal to the planet died, I immediately went to the Apple Store at Legacy Village - 24393 Cedar Road in Lyndhurst, OH. I spoke with a very knowledgeable salesman and he gave me the first round of bad news - Apple considers any machine over five years old a "Vintage" computer and they no longer carry any parts for them. If my problem was software related, I might have a chance, but anything hardware related mad my computer a goner.

I even went back to the Apple Store the next day to double check with another salesperson to see if the story would repeat itself. I got a reprise of the previous night's obituary.

From there, I hustled around to about a dozen PC repair shops. Most of them couldn't spell Apple, let alone fix one. They were mired in the satanic world of Bill Gates and his MS BS. I just can't do PC's. I'm a MacMan. I love my iThis and iThat. But without my computer the only program I was running was iScrewed.

I hit pawn shops and that was a nightmare. iCrap runs there 24/7.

Finally, my sister said, "Please call Micro Center." I did, and the first person I talked to said, "Yup, Apples over five years old are finished. Sorry. Can't help you."

My sister doesn't listen, so she can ask the same question about 50 times and still not be satisfied with your answer. She wound up talking to the chief Apple technician at Micro Center, Kyle,  and he offered to do a diagnostic check on the machine for $73.00 including the tax. I succumbed and my sister and I made the trip over to the Eastgate Shopping Center to find Micro Center.

There it was Micro Center, 1349 SOM Center Road in Mayfield Heights, OH.

We dropped off my dead baby in the service department. I was not optimistic.

My sister called back and found out that a technician named Dana was going to be working on my machine. I still had little hope.

I called him on Tuesday evening and he said he'd check it out that night or the following morning. And he'd call me.

To my surprise, he called on Wednesday morning. "It's running and it's ready for pickup." I went into iShock.

Dana explained to me that when he first started my iBook up, he had the same problem - it kept going black and shutting down.

He decided to take the computer apart and he took a compressor hose and blew out all of the crevices around the processor and on the motherboard. He put everything back together and turned on my computer. It ran overnight.

When he arrived for work in the afternoon, it was still running.

Dana had determined that through the years a substantial amount of dust had built up on the key components inside the computer and the dust was causing the unit to overheat. iDust is what took me down.

Within an hour, I was at the Micro Center Store and had my computer back in my possession. It hasn't been turned off since I picked it up. When you're used to blogging 3 to 5 posts a day, checking four emails, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIN and a number of other sites, you have a lot of catching up to do when your computer has spent twelve days in the iTomb.

I was so thankful that they could fix it.

On the way out, I asked for the card of the manager. I told him that I'd be writing about his store on my blog.

There were several things that I learned about Micro Center. They have a HUGE selection of computers, both the nasty PC's and an entire room of peace and tranquility filled with Apple Computers and accessories. Everything they sell, they service. No trying to repack and ship boxes back to the mail order computer dealer.

And their prices are extremely competitive. As an example, the computer I thought I was going to buy as a replacement for my dead iBook was a MacBook. It retails for $999.00 at Micro Center and at the Apple store. However, Micro Center had the Apple MacBook Pro reduced by $200 and was selling it for $999.00. I don't know if Apple is running the same pricing at their stores, but a MacBook Pro at $999.00 is a... iDeal that is an iSteal. If I had the money, iBuy would be running on my mind's hard drive.

Besides having the services and products that you would expect to find at a national computer retailer, everyone my sister and I met was so nice, friendly and helpful. My hat goes off to Mark Becker, the front end manager, and the job he is doing there.

If you're in the Cleveland area, you can call them at 440-449-7000. If you're not in the Cleveland area, you can find stores or shop online at their comprehensive website:

So, if you want to know, "Does Micro Center sell and repair Apple Computers?" The pleasant answer is "Yes and Yes."

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

ROGER BLAZIC TIP JAR - Help Support A Start-up Business And Reunite A Family

Until cash flow rolls on this site, tips are welcome.
I am a casualty of the economy. I had it all; and in five years I lost it all. I have nothing now, except a chair to sleep in, a microwave, a couple pairs of jeans/t-shirts, a pickup truck and this laptop. And that's why I am putting out a Roger Blazic Tip Jar.

As far as getting a job - HR people won't even look at my resume because I was a stand-up comic and an advertising agency owner. I was the boss for 16 of the last 19 years. No one wants to hire the boss. So, I started this blog. I never give up.

I'm funny. I'm informative. I know marketing. I'm a social media monster. I'm a great storyteller. And I know there are people with a lot less to offer and with a lot less talent on the Internet that are making substantial livings through their blogging and Internet activities. On average, it took them a minimum of six months to see lunch money coming in; and about a year to 18 months until they were supporting themselves and their families.

Right now, I live on food stamps, free coffee from the friends I've made at Dunkin Donuts (which is my primary office), and charity from my brother and sister - gas money, spending money, utilities, etc.

Right now, I'm like one of those guys you see on the sidewalk with the guitar case open, coins and bills strewn around the inside. I'm blogging for small change (ad revenues), but I'm working on developing other revenue streams - teaching, consulting, writing for others, and a couple books in the works.

There is no paycheck in blogging. You are creating a business. When I was a stand-up comic, I got paid. Here, you work your ass off and hope that enough people come, like my stuff and click on an ad on their way out. Ad clicks generate anywhere from 1¢ to $5.00 or more per click... most are under 10¢. So, I need thousands of people to come, like and click.

There are some people that absolutely love what I'm doing here. You might be one of them. This is a chance to "pay the price of admission" so to speak. Drop $1, $5, $10 or more in the tip jar. I won't let you down.

You can use the secure PayPal account. If you have any questions, email me at:

Help me get back to my little girl.

PS - The reason I'm doing all of this is to leave Cleveland and return to Las Vegas, where I lived for 14+ years. I have a 10 year-old daughter there and she needs her daddy. I'm working my ass off to build this business up, so I can unplug it in Ohio and plug it back in when I get back to Vegas. No other job can offer me that. Plus, I'll have TIME to spend with the girl that I love more than any other person on this earth. Help me if you can. Drop a few coins in the Roger Blazic Tip Jar.


Monday, June 20, 2011

I Need An Angel To #SaveTheBlog And Prevent #VirtualDeath

She'll do, but I need an angel investor.
This blog went from being something to occupy my mind and keep me from being so damned depressed. Then, something amazing happened in March 2011 - I caught fire and could not stop working on it. I never felt better. This blog did more for my mental health than all of the toxic pharmaceuticals the doctors were pumping into me. On June 8th, my computer died and we're trying to see if it can be fixed. It's an old Apple iBook. Even if it can be fixed, it is still technology that is fading. I'm not able to download upgrades because my operating system is too old. Background programs I use bog down the processor and I have to re-boot every 45 minutes. Library computers only offer 2 hours a day. I've become an Internet prostitute and I'm RENTING time on a computer right now. I'm a computer John. Donations to help me get a new computer have stalled. I need an Angel to #SaveTheBlog and prevent #VirtualDeath.

All start-up businesses - and, to me, this blog is a business - require certain things to get off the ground. There may be more, but these come to mind. I've seen many a business fail that was missing even one of these items:
  1. A good initial idea - product or service - that fulfills a need
  2. A vision for the future
  3. A good business plan
  4. Capital
  5. A good marketing plan
  6. The right equipment or personnel to get the job done
  7. A willingness to take risks
  8. A relentless desire to attain the initial goals
  9. Persistance
  10. Consistency
  11. Others - you can't do it alone - network - build relationships
  12. Skill in your field - continuing education
  13. Luck
  14. Courage - you have it or you don't
  15. Problem-solving skills - things will go wrong
I studied hard before I took this blog from Internet dust in February (Alexa traffic rank 10,000,000+) to crack within the top 450,000 sites in the USA in only 3 months. I had a computer that was good enough to get the job done. I pursued free WiFi spots relentlessly. I got lucky a few times - beating NBC on page one of Google with my reviews of their show - Celebrity Apprentice. I have a big vision - the blog is just a launching point. I've had all of the above on that list. Then, my computer died. But, I live on food stamps and I'm trying to rebuild my life. I have no capital. I need an angel.

In the business world, there are people known as Angel Investors. They review the business plans of upstart companies that show heart, have a great story, will dramatically change someone's life and then they invest in the company and become partners or they donate capital for the start-up costs. I need an angel.

I need $1,200. I can only use Apple computers for the work I do. They have all the right tools and I'm two to three times more productive on an Apple than I have been on these Windows PC's I've been fighting with at the library, Internet Cafe's, friend's houses, etc. Creative people use Apple computers. I'm a creative. I need an Apple and an angel.

My old computer sits at Microcenter. We'll get a verdict tomorrow (Tuesday June 21) if it is salvagable. If not, I'm screwed. I can't afford to rent time at this stupid Internet Cafe. Two hours at the library is barely long enough to respond to my correspondence. I need an angel.

The good news is... Microcenter has the MacBook Pro, which has a monster fast processor, more memory, more hard drive, more, more, more and they reduced the price by $200 to $999, same as the MacBook I had my eye on. I need the extra cash for tax and transferring my data to the new computer.

Fixing my old computer will get me blogging again. But I've had requests to do lectures via web cam on blogging and marketing. (I used to own a very successful ad agency in Las Vegas - I have skills and people want them.) I have people that want to take blogging and writing classes that I've been hinting about. I need a built in camera to pull it off. The camera gives me an immediate revenue stream that would be greater than the ad revenue I'm currently pulling in from ad clicks - which is enough for coffee and cigarettes.

The camera is important to me for another very big reason. I'd be able to video chat with my 10-year-old daughter in Las Vegas, whom I haven't seen in almost two years. That would be the greatest gift I could hope for. I need an angel.

What is an angel? Or a flock of angels? Or a gaggle of angels? Or a herd? ... Let's just go with - a group of angels. They are people that put up $100, $200, $500 or more on my PayPal Donation account in the upper right side of this blog. A few of those - Done. I can get back to work.

As soon as I get enough to get the tools I need to do my work properly, the Donation button will be renamed the "Tip Jar" - I'm still a starving artist. Until I can pay my bills with ad revenue, class fees or speaking fees, the "Tip Jar" will be on the blog, but in a less prominent place.

After that, I want to accept donations that I can use to be an angel to someone else. I want to find one of my blog students that is filled with passion, proves they really want to work, and buy them a computer to get them started. I would hope they would do the same. Right now, though, I need an angel.

If you know an angel... give him or her a ring and pass this post on to them.

I want to get back to writing five posts a day, pulling in 10,000 page views or more a week and spend time seeing my daughter smile.

Someday, this will all pay off and I'll be able to move back to Las Vegas and be a father again, instead of a voice on the phone.

I need an angel.

I need an Angel to #SaveTheBlog and prevent #VirtualDeath.

Related articles:
My Blog Traffic Has Declined 75% Since My Computer Died June 8th
Donation Update For #SaveTheBlog and End #VirtualDeath
My Blog Is Dead And So Am I - Save My Blog


Testimonials - What People Love - Shout Outs

Read the reactions!!!!!
Writing a blog is a strange pursuit. You sit at a computer for hours on end and then press a button that says, "Publish Post." What happens after that? You might share it on Facebook or tweet it on Twitter or go all out nuts trying to market the post through every channel on the Internet. If you do the latter, you'll get tons of traffic to your site, but does anyone give a hoot about what you wrote or shared? Here are things I've gotten - Testimonials - What People Love - Shout Outs.

This site has been the most fun I've had in a long time. And in four months, I've taken it from a traffic ranking in the 8 Million+ range to within the top 100,000 sites in the United States.

If you haven't been here before, see what others are saying and what they like. This is a place where adults can laugh and learn.


June 5, 2011

Gay Man Comes Out Of Closet As A Heterosexual

BTW... Steve is blind. Check his profile.

Cell Phones Could Cause Cancer | Telegraph Sales Soar

Casey Anthony Will Look For Caylee's Killer In Bars And Nightclubs

Oprah Buys Heaven. Demotes God.


Spending The Day With 87 Year Old Edward


August 18, 2011
Deeone said...

I thoroughly enjoyed this post Roger! So much so that I had to email it to my partner who happens to be white... and we live at the moment in a black neighborhood as well. Believe it or not, this will probably help me more than it helps him. Go figure. LOL I couldn't stop freaking laughing throughout this post!

"This dude's alright" as often as possible - the street equivalent of someone clicking on your LIKE button." Hilarious!

You are more than alright guy... You are the MAN!! ;) Great post.
How To Make Friends In A Black Neighborhood When You're White

June 19, 2011
Hi Roger. Happy Father's Day! I've been wanting to start a blog site (on parenting) for a long, long time now, but I was never able to get the guts to do it. That is, until I read your Make Money blog series. With your help, I finally was able to gather the courage to get it off the ground...and I would just like to THANK YOU for all your help... but I shall add one more: Roger Blazic. You've helped so much, I hope I can repay you by doing at least that. My parenting blog site is, and I hope you can visit it someday. I'm trying to follow your blog series to the letter. May God continue to bless you, friend. You may be going through a season of testing, but remember that it is through fire that gold is made pure. 
How To Start A Blog 10 Lessons On Starting A Blog For Profit 

May 30, 2011
Great post! Maybe one day us Americans will return the "Occupied territories" to Mexico and the Indians instead of "settling" in El Paso. Joyce
Native Americans Want U.S. Borders Redrawn To 1621 Level, Before English Pinheads Showed Up

May 29, 2011
100% true. All of this. However I've got the concept that heat rises. #WisconsinBoy here. Reading this has lead to the hardest I've laughed in a long time. +1 thanks for the laugh
People In The Midwest Are Freaked Out About Air Conditioning

May 25, 2011
That's some deep s*&t. I hope I don't step in it. KUDOS. I'm still smiling here in WI.
How To Publish Poetry? Start By Using Complete Sentences That Make Sense.

May 21, 2011
LMAO, that was a good read, that made my day Roger. Kind of thought provoking depending on your p.o.v
I Want To Marry A Lesbian

April 20, 2011
Great Blog Roger!!!!!! I still remember you up there on stage!!!! Would be nice to see you there again!!!! Love Ya!!!!
How To Become A Comedian - Tips From A Standup Comedy Road Warrior

March 22, 2011
Bob said... Thank you for this Blog....I too am an addict...But with the reading of your encouraging words I too have kicked the MW habit..thank your blog...for sharing and for giving me the strenght to kick this time killing habbit!!!

kelly said... Wish I would have seen this months and months ago. I actually have spent well too much, on reward points. Kills my time and raises my anxiety.
Goodbye Mafia Wars - I'm Done With Facebook's Free Online Games

August 20, 2011

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Wow. Written with honesty and humor and ... your comments comforted and maybe even saved a friend of mine last night. Thank you and God bless you
Painless Suicide - And A Complete Guide To Suicide

More to come...   Follow on TWITTER

Sunday, June 19, 2011

My Blog Traffic Has Declined 75% Since My Computer Died June 8th

Don't tell me the freakin' sky is falling.
Professionals that perform at a high level usually have tools or instruments or sporting equipment that they use to accomplish their goals and make the world take notice. In 90 days, I had created one of the fastest growing sites on the global Internet and now, it's going to hell. My Blog traffic has declined 75% since my computer died on June 8th.

When the screen on my six-year-old iBookG4 went dark at 8:30 am on June 8th, I could see the castle start to crumble. I've done everything in my power to avoid a complete meltdown, but it has been hard and it's costing me money.

This blog was dormant for five months. Never put up one post. On March 7th, I started blogging again. In February, I was averaging about 12 page views a week. Through tons of writing, tons of research, SEO manipulation, heavy marketing and relentless work, I had driven my page views to an average of 9,300 a week in May. My site went from the outer reaches of the Internet with an Alexa ranking that was in the 10,000,000 zone to cracking into the top 450,000 sites in the U.S. Then disaster struck.

I was used to writing three to five posts a day, sharing posts on Facebook and a half dozen other sites like LinkedIN, Blogged, Google Buzz, Yahoo Bookmarks, etc. I would program in tweets on Tweetdeck to run 24/7. I was marketing while I was eating, sleeping or doing something away from the computer - which was rare.

I've been stuck using the computer at the library for two hours a day. I can't download Tweetdeck, I barely get through all of my replies on Facebook, email and Twitter and I have no time to write.

The SEO successes I had in the last month are gone, too. I was writing about Celebrity Apprentice and Dancing With The Stars. I always had tough luck with DWTS, but three times I wound up on page one of Google, ABOVE THE FOLD, and ABOVE NBC - and it's THEIR SHOW.

Those shows ended right before my laptop died. I had decided to pick up The Voice and America's Got Talent for the summer and see if I could beat NBC at their own search placement again. Regardless, Yahoo and Bing brought me traffic for the times I missed page one of Google.

I had it all going on. Then... #VirtualDeath

So, now I'm working on my #SaveTheBlog campaign.

My programmed tweets are dwindling to a trickle. I had a handful that were programmed out a week or so past the TOD of my computer.

I went from 9,300 a week in page views to struggling to keep the number above 2,200. I have a counter on the right side of this blog, you can see exactly where I am over the last seven days.

With next to no marketing and a substantial drop in my posting, search engine placement on older posts and returning fans have kept my count from going to zero. At this point, I'd love to get ping attacked by robots, just to get my spirits up.

In the seasons of life, I'm having a bad summer.

Spring is the time of new growth, rebirth. You have to be diligent during that time, you only have so much time to create your Grand Opening or make your first impression. I planted a lot of seeds in the spring. A lot.

Everything was sailing along and then the processor gods killed me. Summer is the time when you think everything is flowing fine, but it's really the most dangerous time. Heat, drought, weeds, pests, etc. can kill your garden. I had not reached the point of long-term sustainability and I'm suffering because of it.

Fall is the time to reap what you sowed. Harvest. Celebrate. My harvest will be postponed.

Winter is the down time. During winter, you work on getting smarter, faster, quicker, stronger. Spring always follows winter in the cycle. So be prepared.

At the moment, I've been blasted back to the arctic and my summer is rather frigid. But I'm doing what I can.

I use up my 2 hour limit at the library the six days a week it is open. Right now, I'm at an Internet Cafe, which is a faux casino. People rent computers by paying for "phone time" and they play video poker, slots, etc. They earn points in the "Sweepstakes" and they can redeem the points for cash.

This place also rents computers for $6.00 an hour.

Last night, I was here all night until they closed on Saturday morning at 5:30 am and it only cost me a few bucks. The guy that worked Friday gives me a huge discount when I send out tweets about the place. The grumpy old man running the joint now makes me pay full price and he nails me to the second, "Your hour's up." So, it has cost me $30 to blog for five hours. I had to write a few things. I had to. Plus, I didn't want to go stir crazy like I did last week and wound up spending 11 hours in the emergency room because I had no place to go...  Cleveland sucks. I miss Vegas so much... I'm a 24/7 guy and that is my HOME... plus, my 10 year-old-daughter is there.

Learn a lesson. Don't rest. Keep driving. Success comes to those who wage a relentless pursuit to their goals. I won't be stopped. I'll get a computer back some day. But, in the meantime, I'll be scraping along, stealing computer time when I can, borrowing smart phones to send tweets, (I call it #tweetwalking), and yelling out my URL on street corners for an hour a day.

Time to run. Grumpy is going to shut this place down.


Father's Day 2011 - Good Dad - Bad Dad - No Dad

Father's Day makes me question the past.
Father's Day can have many meanings to you, depending on your perspective in life. Your father may have passed on. Your father may have been invisible. Your father might own every "Greatest Dad" mug and t-shirt in town. If you are a father, what does it mean to you? Time to think about Father's Day 2011, the Good Dad, Bad Dad and No Dad.
Prior to Mother's Day, I wrote a piece on making Mother's Day special. For Father's Day, I couldn't bring myself to write the same type of piece, because there is something deeper that needs to be said about fathers and Father's Day.

About 30 years ago, Bill Cosby did a routine on how kids did everything they could to make a wonderful gift for their mothers on Mother's Day. Even if it was a piece of wood, they polished it, painted it, or did something to make it special for Mom. Cosby said, "On Father's Day, I gave my Dad a rock. There, take that and don't complain."

Dad gets the good gifts - ties, underwear and socks - not even a full damn outfit. You go out in public in underwear and socks - the tie won't keep you out of jail.

Father's, however, are the cornerstone of our society, and there are a lot of fathers that don't understand that. Mothers hold down the fort, but the direction of the ship is guided by the father.

What do you hear more from people in therapy - I just wanted my mother's approval or I just wanted my father's approval? Fathers and how they treat their children have a huge impact on the psyche of our youth and future society. 

If you have your father with you or have fond memories of him, you are blessed, and possibly in the minority. There are way too many children that don't even know their father. Those fathers are not men, they are selfish cowards. All they knew was how to make a baby, but failed when it came to making a person.

I have no respect for fathers that are not actively invovled in the lives of their child or children. You want to end a conversation with me in a heartbeat, tell me you're the father of a couple kids, but you don't know 'nuthin' 'bout them - good-bye.

When I became a father in 2000 at the age of 44, I was scared, excited, nervous, proud and I had to use the restroom a lot.

There is a picture of me holding my hours-old daughter and I swear it could illluminate Vegas - screw the Hoover Dam. I was that emotionally engage with this tiny life. And I've done all I can to keep that same feeling.

I bonded with my daughter. I carried her everywhere. I got dirty. I spent hours making shaving cream beards and Marilyn Monroe hairdos on both of us when it was bath time. I brought all of her toy dinosaurs, whales and farm animals to life and she begged for more. I learned to make balloon animals before she was born. Once she was old enough to not freak out when a balloon popped, we had lots of animals all over the house. I went to her pre-school and read to her and her classmates.

My daughter adored me and still does.

When she was in pre-school, she said she wanted to marry me. I laughed. So, I got some flowers and went into her classroom before the bell announced the beginning of the school day and proposed to her. She said, "Yes!!!!!!!" and hugged me so tight. Then she announced to her friends and her teacher that, "My Dad and I are getting married."

The teacher wanted to have me arrested and her put in counseling. What a dumbass. My daughter doesn't remember my proposal. But she holds deep in her heart the love it represented at that time in her life.

I remember teaching her life's lessons in rather unconventional ways. I have ADD, was a former stand-up comic and have a very, very creative mind.

When we would go through the store and she'd grab my sleeve and say, "Dad, I want that... Dad, I want that (something different)... Dad, I want that... (another different item)..." I'd finally say, "Honey, I have to tell you what I learned from the Rolling Stones."

"What's that, Dad?"

"The Rolling Stones sang a song that said, You can't always get what you want, but if you try some time, you get what you need."

"Dad, I want that..."

"Honey, you have to ask yourself, do you want that or do you need that?"

"I want it, Dad, can I get it?"

"Sweetie, we can't afford to get everything we want in life. Some times we have to look at a thing and think, Do I NEED that? - If so, you get it. But if you just want it, you'll wind up with a lot of junk and no money. That would be bad."

"Can I still get it?"

"So, do you want that toy or do you need that toy?" And then I shut up for as long as it would take her to think about it.

With her face looking at the floor, "I want it. But I don't need it."

"Excellent. You just made me the proudest Dad in the store and in all of Las Vegas. You made a good choice. And good choices make a good life."

Whenever the, "Dad, I want that..." request came up in the future, I'd ask her, "What do the Rolling Stones say?"

"Dad, I don't like the Rolling Stones."

"What did the Rolling Stones say?"



Mumbling, she'd reply in an almost indiscernable voice, "You can't always get what you want. But if you try some time, you get what you need." Sigh. Shrug. Grumble.
"You are the smartest girl in the world. I love you. Now, do you want that or do you need that?"

"I want it... and I'll put it back."

"I am so proud of you."

I've made a habit of quoting musicians and other great people in conversations with my daughter. She's learned about Jesus, Ben Franklin, John F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King, and John Lennon.

One day, she proudly announced to one of her friends, "My Dad is good friends with John Lennon." (He'd been dead for decades, but to my daughter, I knew John Lennon and we were BFF's.)

When we first watched the movie "Christmas Story" - the tale of the boy who dreamed of a Red Rider BB Gun for Christmas - I told her that the house was in Cleveland, "Where Daddy was born and raised." For some reason, she thought that movie was a home movie of my life.

She ask, "Dad, why did they call you Ralphie when you were little?"

When I was 15, I was hit in the right eye with a hockey puck during practice by my hockey coach. I've never been able to read with that eye. My daughter thinks that "I shot my eye out" because I didn't listen to my parents. Through the years, I never told her that it wasn't me in the movie. She's still concerned with me shooting my eye out.

Everything could not have been better with us. Then, in February of 2005, my wife moved out for good. In March 2005 my father died and a week later my cousin died.

Suddenly, the face that smiled and laughed every morning wasn't there every day. A court decided she would be with me every other week. Half of my daughter's life was stolen from me.

Things got worse. I developed severe nervous conditions and mental conditions that I must have had all my life and they went into full bloom. I was a mess. Eventually, I had to be shipped from Las Vegas back to Cleveland to be near my sister, the only person who could care for me.

I haven't seen my daughter since December 13, 2009. She's 10 now. We talk on the phone a lot. We get to chat on Skype at my sister's house a couple times a month. But it's not the same. Father's Day will be very hollow for me. Maybe that's why I resent fathers who choose to NOT be part of their child's life, when they can.

I can't always get what I want. But if I cry some times, I get what I need.

My daughter sent me a gift. I don't want to talk about it. I'll take a picture of it and post it on my personal journal site - The Life And Times of Roger Blazic when I get a computer again (I'm renting one at a casino to write this article).

I want you to make note of two words that I used several times in my stories about my daughter - Love and Proud. I never heard those words from my father. He did tell me he loved me twice. One of the two times, he said, "I LOVE YOU GOD DAMNIT." It was during a fight and it failed to reach the sense of warmth and nurturing aspirations of traditional familial love gestures.

I was a touring stand-up comic for nine years. I think I did over 3,000 shows. My father never came to any of them. He was disgusted that I had decided to be a "clown" and not get a real job.

In 1995, I was flying to Las Vegas to audition for the Riviera Comedy Club. I had just returned from a trip to New York to audition for MTV. My father said, "What the hell are you wasting your time going to Vegas for? That town is nothing but nudity and gambling. You already proved you were nothing in New York. Now, you'll waste your money to prove you're nothing in that hell hole in the desert." Thanks for the encouragement, dad.

There were a lot of things I learned by observing my father. He got up and went to work every day. He shaved on Saturday, so people wouldn't think he was unemployed. He was an excellent gardener and I learned to grow tomatoes and a variety of vegetables. I learned that he was more interested in Wall Street Week and Luis Rukehyser than me. I learned that if you grow a beard, you're a good for nothing bum that looks like a Hell's Angel. I learned that when it's raining the road are wet. He used to say that all the time, "It's raining, the roads are wet." I never knew the latter could be inseparable from the former.

The two things my father said to me the most were: You're going to be a bum on a street corner. And... If you keep that up, you'll never save your soul. To which I'd reply, "Are you saying I'm going to Hell?"

"I'm not saying that. But you won't save your soul living the way you do."

OK... I'm NOT going to the West Side, but I'm on a bus headed west.

Oh, I forgot to mention that during the last ten years of my father's life, he went to Catholic Mass three times a day. Yes 3 X A DAY. He prayed the Rosary all day. He watched Catholic programming on TV. He had Catholic radio blasting on every radio in the house - all day. I considered my father a militant Catholic. He was so far to the right, he was actually the light bulb at the end of the right wing. The Pope was afraid of my father.

I told my father I wanted to see a counselor when I was in my teens. He said, "That's what your priest is for. You don't waste your money on that crap. And you have family." Talking to my family was the reason I wanted to see the counselor, but I didn't tell him that.

When I was in my early 40's and travelling on the road doing comedy, I saw that goatees were popping up on MTV. They were just starting to come into fashion. So, I thought I'd try one to see if it fit with my act and my look.

My father saw it and said, "OH MY GOD. What the hell is that crap on your face? You look like a dead rat is stuck on your mouth." I told him I was trying it out and I might get rid of it in a few weeks.

Several weeks later, after a long road trip, I stopped at his house. I still had the goatee. The next memory plays in my mind in 3-D with surround sound whenever it invades my thoughts. My father said, "I thought you were going to cut that crap off of your face. You look disgusting. You know what you look like? An asshole. That's right an asshole. And everyone that sees you says, There goes an asshole." He was poking me in the chest with each repetition of the word asshole. After ten minutes of him berating me and everything in my life, I left.

Whenever I didn't do something to my father's liking, he'd regularly whip me with the Catholic Fourth Commandment from the famous Ten... Honor thy father and thy mother. That usually led to me buying another bus ticket heading west.

My mother once said, "Your father would join a golf league and have some fun, but he has to be with you." I told my mother my dad could go on the Pro Tour and that would be just fine with me. "Come back when you run out of balls or find some."

Being a father takes courage. It is a big responsibility. You have a child that loves you unconditionally. Kids do that. You could be the worst father in the world and they'll still love you. Why would you not give them the love they so need  and deserve?

My father was good at giving me money. But I wanted something completely different. My psychologist knows all about it.

I look back at my time with the man that brought me into the world and think, "What a pitiful waste of time. Was prayer or TV or mowing the lawn more important than me?" I guess it was. I guess it was.

My first wife and I had one coversation about having children. One. She was against it because she spent her whole childhood caring for her sister's kids after the fathers disappeared. I was scared to death to have a child. "I'm afraid I might be like my father, and I could never do that to a child."

Time turned that around. I became the father I never dreamed I could be. But now, I can't be the father I want to be - because there is a 2,300 mile gap between me and the love of my life.

On Father's Day, I won't get what I want. I'll cry for some time. And my daughter will call me... she always does... and I'll get what I need. I thought about buying a bus ticket west. In my world, that is where Heaven is.

It will be a tough day on Father's Day. Now you know why I think about Father's Day 2011 - Good Dad, Bad Dad, No Dad.

Happy Father's Day

Related Articles:
Ideas For Making Mother's Day Special, Sunday, May 8th, 2011
A Short Story: A Clown Without A Circus
St. Patrick's Day Means Sadly Leaving Las Vegas To Me

If you enjoyed this article, share it with friends using the buttons below. Bookmark this site. Comments are welcome.

You Just Have To Watch It. Absolutely Incredible !!!!!