|Harold Camping predicts end of the world May 21st.|
Camping has predicted the end of the world before. He did it in 1994. Ooooops. However, he's real certain that this is it on Saturday. Wal-Mart will be running sales all day on Friday. Car Dealers will be attempting to clear inventory, too, so buy a car on Friday.
I'm glad the world is finally ending. This will put a halt to Al Gore's Global Warming theory, which has morphed into "Climate Change" - meaning he can suck money from some government agency if the temperature goes up or down.
But Camping is the man of the hour. We are really lucky to have him warn us in advance about the end of the world.
Supposedly, 280 Million people will be Ruptured.... I mean.... Raptured into Heaven. According to the book of Revelations, they will look for those clothed in white, that's why Mormons wear those white linen undergarments. They've been ready for this for years.
My suggestion is that you pack light and put on your best clean white underwear and stand in your front yard all day Saturday. You don't want to miss the Rapture because you were on the couch watching Sportscenter or All-Pro Bowling.
If you're with Harold Camping, like I am, you'll join me in your front yard in your underwear. It might rain here, so I'll have an umbrella. But I plan on cutting a large hole in the umbrella so they can see me when they Rupture me.
I'm not even sure who's coming. I heard about horseman, but aren't the Belmont Stakes a few weeks away? I'm confused. But I will have my clean tighty whities on and I'll be ready. You should be too.
Now you know that Harold Camping has predicted the end of the world on May 21st, 2011. Remember to pack light and wear clean white underwear. See you in the front yard. ;)>
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