Sunday, March 27, 2011
How To Beat Dunkin Donuts At Sip, Scratch, Score Game
Dunkin Donuts is one of my favorite places to catch free wifi. Their chairs are comfortable, they give me free refills on my coffee and there is a power outlet at my table, so I can stay connected for hours.
Yesterday, my new DD buddy, Paul, showed up for a chat. Paul is a short ball of a man with squat legs, a nice gray comb-over and large gold-rimmed bifocals. We peeled the game piece off of our coffee cups, read the questions and both exclaimed, "How the hell are you supposed to know that?"
Suddenly, I had a flash: "To the cloud."
Actually, I have a Mac and wouldn't touch a Microsoft PC, but we had something better - the holy oracle - GOOGLE.
Paul is completely computer illiterate and he looks at my white iBook laptop as some sort of mystery from the future. "You can get answers with that? I knew you were some kind of computer wizard." Yes, using Google ranks as computer wizardry amongst the senior set.
So I put on my Merlin hat and started searching.
Within a few minutes, we had the first answer - A FREE Donut.
The second question took more time, but BINGO, we got it - A FREE Bagel.
A guy behind us joined in - another FREE Donut.
We wound up 3 for 3 in less than 10 minutes. Take that Dunkin Donuts.
This morning, I was the only patron at DD. A few minutes after I arrived, a little old lady came in. She said, "Hi, how are you?" I responded in kind.
She saw me tearing my game piece off of my coffee cup and inquired, "How does that game work?"
She got up and waddled over to my table, standing next to me. She remarked, "I don't have my glasses, I can't even read what this says. And what do you do to win?"
I explained to her that the questions were all minutia of sports trivia and even a sports genius would have a hard time answering the questions. She grumbled, "Well that's not fair."
"I know. But we have a secret weapon." I tapped on the top of my computer and said, "We can cheat."
Gasping, she spoke in amazement, "You can get the answers on your computer?"
(Yes, welcome to the future my dear. It's dark and mysterious. But we're about ready to get a free donut.)
Her question was: What place did LPGA golfer Annika Sorenstam finish in the 2003 rankings?
I fumbled around for about five minutes and thought I had the right answer. Oooops, sorry. I was wrong. My new geriatric princess sighed in disappointment when her prince could not make the white magic machine find her way to a golden, sugar-coated treat.
"I'm really sorry," I said shamefully. I should have looked a little harder.
"Oh, that's OK..." sadly, she shuffled away.
Not letting a minor setback rattle my verve, I attacked my question: What team retired #3, Bronko Nagurski's number?"
Within seconds, I had the correct multiple choice answer: Chicago Bears!
Another FREE Donut!
I called over to my elderly princess and offered her my spoils of war as a prize. She implored that I should take the donut. "No, ma'am, they give me heartburn. And I just ate about 20 minutes ago." She finally succumbed to my chivalry and was delighted to redeem her high calorie award.
I told her, "This is a win for the little guy. We're beating arrogant corporate America at their own game. Huzzah!" She laughed.
Dunkin Donuts should fire their director of marketing. This game is ridiculous. It has a totally male skew - all sports trivia - so they completely alienate any women that might want to play the game. Plus, the game questions are nowhere near common knowledge. They could have put college level questions on micro-biology on their cups and it would have been the same thing. But we can fight the power.
You need to share this post with everyone you know. In a tough economy, beating the big guys is a huge moral victory.
To win this game consistently, all you need is a couple of bucks for a coffee, a wifi capable laptop, a Dunkin Donuts that offers free wifi and you're off to the races. You can become a local legend, just by tapping in a few search terms in Google.
Yes, I am the god of Google!
That's how to beat Dunkin Donuts at Sip, Scrath, Score game. And since you're getting a free donut or bagel, why not check out The BEST of My Funny Blog Posts.
UPDATE 4/1/11 - I met a woman at DD who was taking her game piece home and looking the answers up on Google, too. She'd have a winning ticket on her next visit. So, you don't have to be a winner while you're there. Save the game piece from the large coffee and get the answer at home.
Related article: How To Find Answers For Dunkin Donuts Sip, Scratch, Score Trivia Game
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