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Monday, March 21, 2011

Do Squirrels Ever Screw Up?

As the snow melts in Northern Ohio, I've been watching the squirrels running around, gathering nuts and rushing up trees to eat them. I've also watched them take daring leaps from branch to branch and I never see them fall. I started wondering, "Do squirrels ever screw up?"

These adorable creatures seem to have the best depth perception. I've spotted one or two that caught a branch with just their front paws, but managed to wriggle their way up onto the flimsy branch and scamper away to dangerously dive again. And they never seem to fail.

Do squirrels ever botch their jumps like insane base jumpers? "Whoa... damn... I'm screwed."

Do they ever slip on a banana peal or step in dog poop?

Maybe I have too much time on my hands.

We've all heard that scary THUMP on a window caused by a bird that thought he had clearance to land. They usually wobble around for a few seconds and then take off. Sometimes, the impact kills them. Were these suicides?

Dogs and cats mess up all the time. Just check YouTube and you'll find millionss of videos of dogs slamming into doors or cats flipping off couches. About the only thing really bad that happens to squirrels is that they run into traffic and get flattened. You'd think their buddies would warn them about the big wheeled things.

Now that I've posed my question to the world, I'll start contemplating why ants all march in a line. Are they anti-social and just don't want to talk to each other? Are there homing devices in their asses that keep them on track? Are they drafting, like in NASCAR?

Oh well, I guess I'll have to keep wondering. In the meantime, I'll step in gum or dog poop today. And when I do, I'll muse, "Do squirrels ever screw up?"

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