A report on CNN Sunday stated that nine people tested positive for radiation near the Fukushima nuclear power plant, which has had problems cooling its reactor and may be a threat to meltdown.
A CNN analyst reporting from Japan said, "Just because people are testing positive for radiation is no reason to panic. It's not like they're going to get cancer tomorrow." Really?
In my seemingly scientifically undereducated world, testing positive for radiation is BAD!
I wouldn't want to test positive for radiation.
What does that mean? You can heat a can of soup by holding it? You walk into a room and all the lights turn on? Your feces glow in the dark? You can be tracked by a satellite? Your belt becomes a permanent glow ring?
Sometimes, I think news reporters have no common sense.
A few months ago, I heard a weather reporter say, "It will rain for the next 24-hours. Then, the temperature will drop into the 20's and the rain will turn to snow. We don't have to worry about ice." Really?
This seems like Science 101 - if the temperature drops below freezing, water turns to ICE!
Sure enough, the rain turned to snow and there was a thick layer of ICE below the snow, which made driving extremely treacherous. I was completely surprised.
And why do they still refer to that maniac shooter from Tucson as "the alleged gunman"? Everyone in America knows him as the smirking, crazy-eyed killer, but we still have to placate the ACLU by referring to the monster as an "alleged" criminal.
They should have marched him right from the Safeway parking lot into a courtroom, "GUILTY, and here's your prison cell." Sometimes, I think good old-fashioned cowboy justice had its advantages.
Another thing that drives me nuts are the morning news boobs that keep telling you, "Have another cup of coffee." "Why don't you refill that coffee." I don't drink coffee in the morning. Stop reminding me to do it every five minutes. This is an amateurish smarmy way of trying to buddy-up to the audience. "I like orange juice and my bi-polar medication." Why don't they remind all the mentally ill and old people, "Don't forget to take your meds today. We'll be right back with a story about an armless midget that bowled a 300 game."
You don't see the evening newscasters coaxing you, "Grab another beer during the break." "Have a couple shots of Tequila before we get back." "Why don't you take a hit off the bong before we show you this next story."
And I don't need a weather forecaster to tell me, "It's going to be 8 degrees today, so dress warm." NO! I'm going to traipse out of the house in my boxer shorts and flip-flops.
I like running around my house naked, until one of my neighbors said, "Hey buddy, take it inside."
My dad would always warn me, "It's raining. The roads are wet." Well, thank you Captain Obvious. Have we ever had dry roads during a rain storm? Maybe my father felt this concept of rain and wetness were beyond my grasp.
I would also like to see news reporters learn math and apply critical thinking to our elected officials. During the last presidential election, Obama promised billions of dollars of programs. No one on any of the networks seemed to have the capacity to add it all up or see the impact it would have on our deficit. Both political parties play games with math and I want more critical commentary on their dodgy numbers.
And don't get me started about the attire of some of the local female TV news people. All I can say is, "What, no mirrors in your house?"
Maybe I should stick to the history channel. Time is the best way to sort these things out.
Or maybe I should read a book. I can get a Japanese citizen from Fukushima to stand next to me. That soft glow is nothing to worry about - according to CNN.
More: Americans Can Learn A Few Things From Japanese Culture