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Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Jetblue's Steve Slater and the F U Heard Round The World

If you've had your head in the sand the last couple days, you've missed the most viral story in America and possibly the globe - the backlash of Steve Slater. Before Sunday, Slater was a happy Jetblue flight attendant. However, as his flight was approaching the terminal at JFK in New York, a female passenger stood up to reclaim her bag from the overhead compartment, and then all hell broke loose.

Slater, doing his job, asked the woman to return to her seat. She promptly told him to F-off. Then she yanked her bag from the overhead compartment and smacked Slater in the head, causing a visible bruise. With that, Slater lost it. He marched over to the plane's intercom and announced to everyone, "To the F-ing A-hole who told me to F-off, F U! Thank you it's been a great 28 years." He then grabbed two beers from the beverage cart, opened the door of the plane, deploying the emergency shoot, hopped on it with his bag and slid to freedom.

Later that day, Slater was arrested for a variety of charges. Although, no passenger was endangered by his overt actions. In fact, most seemed to side with him. Slater has become an international phenomenon, striking a chord with every working man or woman who has ever dreamed of making a grand dramatic and memorable exit from a job when they were fed up.

Within 24 hours, this modern day working hero has captured the media and the public and people can't seem to get enough of him. Someone put up a Facebook fan page for him that already has over 107,000 fans. Somebody's saying, "You go Steven!"

There's even a group that is organizing a defense fund for the man. He could probably get a movie and book deal this afternoon, if he plays his cards right.

Through all the media hoopla there is one glaring fact that struck me on the second or third time I had seen the story. Part of Slater's diatribe was the statement, "It's been a great 28 years." The mindless talking heads in the media have been reporting that Slater is giving up a 28 year airline career or a "near 30 year" airline career. What NO ONE has noticed (except ME) is that Slater is reported to be 38 years old. His age is on the cover of USA Today - today.

Here's the problem with America, no one knows MATH!!!!

OK kids, it's story problem time.

If Mr. Slater spent 28 years in the airline industry and he is currently 38, at what age did Mr. Slater begin working in the airline industry? The answer can't be 10. It just can't be. Unless Barak Obama is doing the math, then it all works out just fine. Hell, he could have had a 45 year career in the airline industry and still have been 38. Yup, that makes sense. It's congressional math, it all works out. Trust me.

There are thousands of media people following this and mourning what looks like the end of this alleged 28 year career. No one, but no one has taken five seconds to do the math. Aren't there high-paid editors or news directors making sure the boobs with the makeup on are getting it right?

Who knows how much of the rest of the story they screwed up. Maybe Slater did a 10-minute Andrew Dice Clay on the lady, snorted some coke and then flew down the escape ramp. We could start that rumor, no one would check the facts. Maybe they might. All I know is, there is a huge math problem here and I could not last another minute without telling someone.

Hey Barak, what's 2+2?

6... 4 for a bailout and 2 to shut eveyone else up.

Welcome to America. First in folklore. Fifty-ninth in math.
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